Maria Burns Ortiz

Now, I am admittedly NOT a UFC fan. I’m not anti-UFC, but the only fights I have ever watched were my sister’s in person. So it’s possible I am missing something. (Actually, I’m being rhetorical there because the real point of this post is to call bullshit, not to be “enlightened” by the people of the Internet.)

While I am not a UFC follower, I do have Twitter and access to the above-mentioned Internet, so it did not go without my notice that Jon Jones had failed a drug test for the third – THIRD – are you f-ing kidding me?! third time.

The emphasis there is anger italics, not shock. There’s a line in our international bestseller “My Fight/Your Fight” where Ronda says, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m a f-ing idiot. And do I look like a f-ing idiot?” If you ever have read the comments on a news story or seen tweets from people with frog emojis in their name, you probably are not surprised to learn that a lot of people on the Internet fall into that third category.

But as I read this news, I couldn’t help but think back to immediately following UFC 214 and seeing so many people posting loving, congratulatory, “couldn’t have happened to a better guy” social media posts post-Jones win.

Now as someone who has seen my sister excoriated on by the aforementioned “people of the Internet” because she refused a handshake, this jumped out to me.

Hold on, I remember thinking. Isn’t this the guy who failed two drug tests? Isn’t this the guy who pulled a hit-and-run on a pregnant woman? The answer for those of you keeping score at home is – yes and yes. (For those who are going to say, it was only two failed tests: please read here. Including this latest test, he twice tested positive for banned substances and once before that for “just” cocaine. Whether or not he should have been tested for cocaine out of competition is debatable, but the test result isn’t.)

And that’s not even getting into this “role model’s” bragging about his use of cocaine and f-bomb tirade against the cops. And for those of you so turned off by Ronda’s “trash talk,” let’s not forget that Jones was the instigator of this infamous “Pussy, Are You Still There?” video:

And yet – even up until he got busted for the THIRD time, the third fucking time – people were singing Jon Jones’ praises.

For the unfamiliar, here is what Ronda did that apparently made people seethe with Internet vitriol (many of whom are still inexplicably outraged): talked trash, didn’t touch gloves, didn’t shake hands, didn’t talk to media after a loss. Therefore, that somehow makes her a terrible person. No, really, that’s it. Somehow this trumps her pioneering of a sport, multiple world titles, charity work, how genuine she is with fans and her many other amazing qualities.

Just a quick recap from above on Jones: talked trash, failed a drug test, failed a drug test, failed a drug test (that’s not a copy-and-paste error, that’s three failed tests), hit-and-run on a pregnant woman, berated a cop and bragged about cocaine use. (Sorry if I’m missing items from that list, like I said, I don’t follow UFC that closely.) And from the headlines I’ve read so far, we’re not yet jumping to conclusions. I mean, let’s not get bogged down by things like science (which is what drug testing is).

So for the record, I just want to get this straight, not even for Ronda’s sake – she doesn’t need my help on that because she’s doing just fine – to borrow a line from Conor McGregor:

But I want to make sure this is clear for all girls and women – because whether they be fighters or athletes or politicians or tech entrepreneurs or astrophysicists – this is a universal issue. There is a ridiculous double standard for the expectations to which women are held. It is beyond bullshit. And you do not have to accept it. You do not have to sit there and stay quiet. In fact, I think it’s a disservice to pretend it’s not an issue.

To ignore this reality means too many girls grow up thinking that it’s just them. They should know that it’s not. They should know that you will have no choice in being subjected to the ridiculously differing standards to which men and women are held in societies around the world – including our own – but you can choose to find it unacceptable.

So yeah, I’m maybe I’m missing something – like the ability to separate myself from reality and live in the land of make believe where there’s some way you can justify how this isn’t a textbook example of the ultimate double standard.

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Shout out to the two super cool apps that allowed me to make this magic happen: Evrybit and Cut Me In.

My husband is out of town for work, leaving me to get three kids out the door to school (well, two kids to school, but I have to bring the baby as well, since it’s not like I can just leave him home alone), to soccer, to dance class, to any place I need/want to go outside of work hours between now and when he returns.

I was realizing as we made our way to my mom’s house – just four blocks from my house – today how much longer everything takes with kids.

Here’s a very unscientific metric I’ve developed:

Going somewhere by yourself: X minutes
Going somewhere with 1 kid: 2X minutes
Going somewhere with 2 kids: 10X minutes
Going somewhere with 3 kids: 974X minutes

Here is what I mean (and this is an abridged version of the first block):

Decision made to go. Change baby’s diaper. Tell 3-year-old to put on her shoes. Tell 7-year-old to change out of soccer uniform. Tell 3-year-old to put on her shoes. Pull baby out of dog’s water bowl. Change baby’s clothes. Ask if anyone has to go to the bathroom. Tell 7-year-old she can only bring 2 stuffed animals. Tell 3-year-old to put on her shoes. Confirm that no one has to go to the bathroom. Reiterate to 7-year-old how many 2 is. Tell 7-year-old she will be responsible for carrying all items she brings. Hand 3-year-old shoes. Get everyone out the door. Shut the door. Lock the door. Unlock the door so 3-year-old can go to the bathroom. Lock door. Put baby in the stroller. Run back up the stairs so that 3-year-old can bring stuff animal, just like 7-year-old. Walk out the gate and four steps down the street. 3-year-old stops and says she’s tired and wants to go in stroller. Explain baby is already in stroller. 3-year-old explains she has to practice jumping from rock to rock. 7-year-old puts all of her items in/on the stroller. Tell 3-year-old to catch up. 3-year-old walks slower. 7-year-old says it’s really hot. Asks for water. Stop to drink water. Ask if anyone else wants water. Put water away. 3-year-old asks for water. 3-year-old says her feet hurt. Look down and see 3-year-old has shoes on wrong feet. Ask 3-year-old if she wants to switch shoes. Told no. Walk 5 steps. 3-year-old sits down on the curb to switch shoes to correct feet. Look ahead and realize there are still three more blocks to go…

Welcome to Salt Lake City, where 7 Generation Games is participating BoomStartups’s Ed Tech accelerator.

I just a spent nine days in Rio and am home for about 48 hours before I head off to Salt Lake City. After a 16-hour travel day that stretched two continent and multiple time zones, I’m still trying to wrap my mind around the last week and a half. It was an amazing trip, but it was a whirlwind. Not only that, it was punctuated by moments of such surreality that it’s hard to process it all.

Here’s what I mean.

Surreal moment 1:
Ronda winning another world title. We went down to Brazil to watch my sister Ronda’s world title fight. In the last five years, she’s risen through the ranks of MMA to become almost unarguably the most dominant athlete in the world. (Sports Illustrated even ran a cover story saying as much.) I’ve been to every single one of her UFC title fights except for the one before this fight (because I had a weeks old baby). You would think we’d be used to this whole craziness by now. You’re wrong. It’s the same feeling of nervousness and the same elation when she wins every time. Then we’re rushed in the cage where we hug her and jump up and down, and we’re rushed through in a throng of security as people scream Ronda’s name – and it is still very much surreal.

Surreal moment 2:
The penthouse suite of the Copacabana Palace Hotel. We always had enough food to eat growing up, but there were years where things we tough. My stepdad was in the hospital for a long time and then he died. We lived in this crappy rental house where the floor kind of sloped and things were always falling apart in a town of 15,000. It was, let’s just say, less than ideal. And now, literally half a world away we’re staying in a two-bedroom, four-bathroom penthouse with two butlers and a semi-private pool in the nicest hotel in Rio (a city of 6.5 million), ordering room service and staring at the ocean.

Surreal moment 3:
Christ the Redeemer. Whenever I travel, I always try to see the one real touristy thing in the city if it has one. For example, when I went to Athens in 2004, I made sure to go to the Acropolis. (I missed the Alamo when I was in San Antonio last year though!) When we were going to Rio, I said that we had to go to Christ the Redeemer, so we did. As with every time, I go see the must-see attraction, I was pleased I did.

Surreal moment 4:
It’s a small word. I was sitting on the exercise bike at the Sheraton gym the day before the fight when I turned and saw a woman looking at me like, “What the hell?” And I immediately without being able to place her, found myself thinking the same thing. Then I tried to wrap my brain around who it was and where I had seen her before. It was one of those moments where you’re seeing a person so out of the element where you usually see them that you just can’t process it. I racked my brain: Did she work for the UFC? (We were at the event hotel.) Did she work at the hotel? I definitely know her. Why do I know her? Then it dawned on me. She is my next-door neighbor – from home! It turned out her boyfriend (my other next-door neighbor – we say “Hi!” to them, but we’re not close – they are cordial to us, but we have three kids and a dog, and they are single and quiet) works for a production company that worked for the UFC. He was coming to Brazil for work, so she joined him. And here we were running into each other in a hotel gym in Rio. We marveled at what a small world it is. And it was just another reminder of how random and unexpected life really is.

Now the fun begins.

Fight Night is tonight for UFC 190 in Rio.

It’s weigh-in day ahead of UFC 190.

I’m Evrybit-ing our trip to Brazil for UFC 190 in Rio.

I haven’t had more time lately, but I’ve had a lot more going on. And every once in a while, I think, “I should be documenting this.” But I felt like I didn’t really have a place to do that. I write regularly on my company blog for 7 Generation Games, but there are things that don’t necessarily fit there. I decided this site – since it’s in my name and I already own it. It’s going to be a totally different set of posts as my life has shifted dramatically since I started this blog. It seems like the first 70 or so posts on here are from a different life, but that’s the way life goes…

What do I mean by a completely different life ago? Well, let’s see. I’ve now launched two companies. One of which I’m working on full time: 7 Generation Games, and one of which I’ve moved into more of an advisory role: Evrybit. I believe each one of them has the opportunity to make radical changes in the world. I’ve got three children — two girls (7 and 3) and an almost-7-month-old boy — each of which I believe has the ability to make radical change in the world. I’ve moved more times than I can count. (Well, I could actually count them, but let’s just say you know you’re moving too often when the movers come to get your stuff and say, “Wait, didn’t you just move in here?”) I co-wrote a book, like a real book published by a real publisher that people are buying.

It’s been a crazy ride, but it’s totally great (most of the time). And it’s kind of just getting started.